Should Parents Share Their Feelings with Their Kids?

For my goals in the Simplicity Series, I put as a “want” in the CREATE section: A ritual of candlelit connection and gratitude at night for my whole family.

I realized today that the most important thing for me there is to connect with my older child. I was feeling sad because we missed our candlelight gratitude ritual with the sun still been up during dinnertime. I got my 1.5 yo son down and was looking forward to some time to get down to the fun, inspiration and “meat” of my Right Brain Business Plan. First, though, I wanted to connect with my 3.5 yo daughter.

There she came bounding up saying she wanted to have some Mama Time and paint. Excited when I realized it was dark, I asked if she wanted to do our candle ritual since she had been asking earlier and we missed it. webhosting info . She requested we pretend it’s Happy Birthday candle, and she will blow out the candle.

Plan in hand for our ritual of connection, we got set up, I held her hands, we looked into each others eyes…

So, my love, I am wondering out of all the happened today what is something that happened or a feeling you had that you are wanting to share with me now?

[Clarifying conversation in which I understood that what I call a Gratitude or a Reflection, she is calling a Wish. In fact, I had the Aha from this that we actually have a Manifestation ritual, or an I Desire ritual. Which works incredibly well for me…or most any mother I imagine.]

“I wish that Tia and Aunt B would come back again and we would go to the park. What is your wish, mama?”

I wish….

I wish….

[Emotion wells up in me, thinking of the balance I continually struggle with and seek and how I want to connect with my daughter and be present.]

I am having a hard time finding a wish. I keep having feelings of sadness in me.

“Sad feelings? What are your sad feelings about, mama?”

I feel sad because I love to help mamas and daddies and work with them, and I also love being with you. I miss you and feel sad when we don’t get time together. …. [Digging deep and going for it] And I feel sad that you are sad when we are not together and I worry that you will not feel loved.

[Sad, serious face.] “I am sad, mama, when you can’t come.”

I know, baby. I feel sad, too.

What can we do about my sad feelings and your sad feelings?

“Well, we could blow out the candle?”

Yes, but when I am feeling sad when we are not together and you are feeling sad, what can I do? About our sad feelings?

…..

[A calm, confidence crosses her face] “Well, mama, you can share your sad feelings with me.”

[More tears] I feel so joyful hearing you say that. I feel relief, sharing my feelings with you. I need to connect with you.

“Let’s blow out the candle and sing Happy Birthday.”

Ok.

“Let’s paint.”

Ok.

“I’m painting, ‘It is a very happy day because my mama shared her sad feelings with me.’”

How do you feel when I share my sad feelings with you?

[Locks eyes with me] Mama, I share my sad feelings with you. You share your sad feelings with me!

“It’s a very happy day because my mama shared her sad feelings with me….”

Joy.

Connection.

Love.

Simplicity….